Oct 27, 2007

Saturday Morning Bender

Take up drinking? Certainly. Why not? Pass me a bottle of the hard stuff. Vodka. Whiskey. Even the dreaded tequila that makes me so ill. Sure. I'll take it all.

I'll take this drink:

Four Horsemen
1/4 oz Jim Beam

1/4 oz Jack Daniel's

1/4 oz Johnnie Walker

1/4 oz Jose Cuervo

Serve straight up. Makes one shot. Two or three shots will
knock ya down.

I'm not much of a drinker, but I'm seriously thinking of taking it up as a hobby. Maybe I can start going on week long benders everytime my period shows up. That's the preemptive plan for next month. I already missed 2 days of this cycle so it's just not worth it. Besides, I don't have any liquor in the house. The double-you-over-in-screaming-pain cramps that I have will keep me in the house for a few more days yet. Even moreso, the cranium splitting migraine will keep me holed up trying to keep all light sources at bay.

Tequila. Lots of it. Put it on my tab, bartender.

As another Christmas approaches I realize exactly what the holidays have come to represent for me--another year without a baby, without a pregnancy, without the hope that it will eventually happen. This new year brings Paul and I to three years of this crap. Yes, really three. Of course, there have been numerous breaks in there, but who could try for that long and not take breaks? I have no need to explain myself to anyone anyways. Anyone who has been in my situation will fully understand, while anyone who has never been here could never understand. I wouldn't have understood if someone has said these things to me 3 years ago.

Whiskey, on the rocks, please. Make it a double.

That bender is sounding better all the time! Now that Haley has decided that I am the most intelligent being on the face of the Earth and has five million questions including "What's the meaning of life?" All the while her little voice is ricocheting nicely off my mushy brain matter and I swear it has penetrated the optic nerve. Even worse than her voice and her game of 5 billion questions, are the cartoons that she insists on watching. Since when does Pokemon make sense? Ugh. Awful cartoons these days. What happened to the good ol' days? Now that I think about it, those cartoons weren't that much better.

Could you just top off this glass barkeep? I mean...just leave the bottle. I'll slug it down when I feel my cramps again. Hic. Up. Hic.

What's really sad and even more pitiful is that it's 8:30am and I think I'm being funny and I know full well that I sound like a miserable old drunk with nothing better to do than whine about being an infertile in an overly fertile world. Yeah. Bite me. Go make some babies. Leave me alone. I'm having fun. Atleast I entertain myself with sex and 80's cartoons. No need for condoms either and that brings an entirely new pleasure to life that fertiles just don't get. Ha. Ha. In your face! Yeah...now what? Huh?

I. am. so. funny.

If I was drunk--I would think I was twice and funny and, in reality, wouldn't be half as funny. Just an observation. Pass me that bottle. It's early--I have all day to get REALLY drunk. This should be interesting.

Oh...and one more thing before I close this up--what's with stupid people online? Lisa and I had a run in with a real winner in the forum's new chat room thing that we installed on there. It's great fun, but I guess the crazies wander in occasionally.

Oct 22, 2007

The Sunday-Monday Slur

Oh yes, this incomnia has been playing hell on me all weekend. I haven't slept at night in 2 days! Thank goodness Paul was off this weekend because he has been up with Haley during the day while I slept. However, tomorrow its back to school for Haley and Mommy really needs to be on a daytime schedule. So, this current....thing....I have going, it's just not going to work. So, here we have what's known as the Sunday-Monday slur. I woke up on Sunday at some point after noon. I will now stay up, get Paul off to work, Haley off to school....stay up all day and then go to bed at a normal time. I am sure I will be thoroughly exhausted by then and sleep will be no problem. I can't wait....a good night's sleep seems like a dream right now!!

On an up note though, Cain is feeling and looking better. Well, technically, he's just less lumpy than he was a few days ago. Thank goodness. However, he's still miserable. He's itched himself so bad over the last couple days and now he has several area's that have pretty good scabs going. I hope that we can get through this soon because his itching is driving me nuts!!! That's all I seem to hear all day long!

Oct 19, 2007

Even the dog has allergies!!

Well, Cain apparently has come down with a case of the hives. Oh, joy. I don't mean a few hives either. He looks like a large, lumpy, moving thing that maybe, kinda, sorta, resembles a dog. I don't know why he got them, which is completely baffling me. He may or may not have gotten a graham cracker today--that's the absolute only thing I can think of that's out of the ordinary for him. However, I really can't see a graham cracker causing all these hives! The kind "child" who works at Purdue's Animal Hospital said that she thinks its probably an outside allergen like a yard treatment or something of that nature since it's worse on his legs and head. Her recommendation is to (yes, get this) give him Benadryl. Well, it cost me alot of money to hear that! Her secondary recommendation is to bring him back, and again pay the "emergency animal hospital fee," if he gets any worse. Yes, I think I'll do that--when pigs fly AND lay golden eggs. Until then, I am not going back to that place! Too damn expensive to hear "give him a Benadryl pill." She could have atleast sugar-coated it by saying he had some rare disease that only benadryl could cure!! I might not have minded as much while writing the check then.

I also gave my poor boy an oatmeal bath. Nothing but the best for him either--Aveeno. Which, is not exactly cheap stuff to buy! He's pretty lucky that's all that was in the house. I knew I should have bought doggie oatmeal bath last time I was at the store!

He's sleeping now. I hope he's enjoying his $200, mind bending, trip on benadryl.

Emergency Animal Clinic Fee: $179
Aveeno Oatmeal Bath: $8
Benadryl Tablets: $10

I still have yet to figure out what the hell is "priceless" in this whole equation. I can't even say that a happy dog is priceless because even with the hives he was still happy and bouncing around like a retard. So....when I find out what's priceless, I'll let ya know. Oh, yeah, and I'll keep you updated on his, uh, condition.

Oct 18, 2007

The Infertility Diaries

Well, this one won't be long, but just wanted to give a little background info on this subject to anyone who may accidentally run across this blog.

Paul and I are classified as an infertile couple--unexplained infertility even. What exactly do we pay doctors for? We started trying to get pregnant way back in January of 2005. We tried and tried for a long time, to no avail. Finally, we went to see a doctor. We had the typical fertility work-up--sperm analysis, blood work, all that good stuff. I had a nice date with the dildo cam. Let me say "Oh, joy!" Didn't even buy me dinner. I also had a laproscopy, D&C, tubal fulgaration, hysterosalpingogram, and untold numbers of doctors looking at my nether regions. Everything came back basically normal. Paul's sperm analysis was a little on the low side in motility, but nothing that would hinder conception. Except for the fact that my ovaries suck ass. They just up and decided that they don't want to work. Fine. Be that way.

Since then, we haven't been back to see any more doctors. Our insurance changed dramatically with our move and Paul's new career. The new insurance, like my ovaries, sucks ass.

There you have it. The awful truth. Infertility is a bitch.

Recent Events

I know that I haven't talked to people much lately so here are a few of the current events around my household:

Haley's First Parent-Teacher Conference:
Didn't go so hot. I really expected more from Haley. Although she seems to have a solid grasp of what has been taught and is ahead on many subjects, she is a class clown and a disturbance to other students. I can't say I was surprised to hear this. I knew this was my future with Haley for a long time. I used to joke that one day I would be on a first name basis with her principal when she was smaller. Haley also seems to be messing around alot instead of doing her work. So, to make up for the time she spent talking, she then scribbles what she is supposed to be coloring and stuff. It's ridiculous in my mind how a 5 year old has SO much to talk about that she just can't keep it in another minute! I mean, afterall, her life has been so full of great things, that she has some divine wisdom to share with her peers. She is also irritating the life out of me with her school "journal". The child can write, yet, she refuses to do so. She is supposed to be writing "I like to ride my scooter" and she writes "abadokdneudos" all in a slur!! So, when she gets home I make her rewrite in on the other side of the paper and she does it perfectly! What is up with this kid?

The Great Make-up:
Paul and I have been on the outs the last couple of months. There was alot involved, but we have finally made up. I am happy and relieved. I was feeling quite depressed about all of it there for awhile, but it seems that the changing leaves and the cooler weather have brought me out of my funk. It's a great feeling to finally feel alive again!

Oct 17, 2007


I've finally come along to getting a blog of my own. Everyone else in the free world has one, why shouldn't I? I've decided to let this be a place where I can vent, explain, and do whatever and say whatever I like. There will be some cussing and cursing, I'm positive of that, so beware your virgin ears.

My name is Mindy. I am, first and foremost, a mother. Haley is 5 years old. She is in kindergarten. She loves school and loves her teachers. Secondly, I am a wife. My husband, Paul, is a gem. We fight about a good many things, and we agree on a good many things. I think it's the constant tug-o-war that keeps us coming back for more. Our married life has been rocky to say the least. A few big blow outs and some loving tender moments too. We struggle with infertility. Although I have a child of my own, it still doesn't make infertility hurt any less, and in Paul's case, he doesn't have a child of his own at all! We are currently sitting on the side lines of the "baby making game" and not actively trying, but also not preventing. We do hope that it will happen for us someday, but the odds are pretty slim at this point. I am hoping to go back to school next August. My first choice of school is Purdue. I hope that everything works out as well as I am imagining it will.

That's us in a nutshell. Can't hope for too much more in a first post anyways--can you?

We're Pregnant