Terror of the Night

As last night progressed, I lay balled into the fetal position on my couch trying to cry quietly so as to not wake Paul. I think that I have never felt such pain as I have felt with this period. Interesting it is since I do not have PCOS or endometriosis or any other condition that should cause such awful pain and cramping. All of my doctor's were sure that endometriosis was the cause of the pain because in my younger years I would breeze through my periods like they weren't even there. Often, I had found myself bragging at how lucky I was to never get even a hint of PMS, save a little exhaustion int he days leading up to my period. Those were the good old days. The days where I didn't own a heating pad and definitely had no need for one. I managed to catch about 45 minutes of rest before Paul came strolling to the living room ready to leave for work with all his chains and prison guard garb dangling around in a raucous. I finally broke down and took a half dose of Excedrin at nearly 5am. Although it did help to ease the pain, I then had nagging thoughts that wouldn't allow sleep to wash over me.

As most anyone would know who reads my blog, Haley is gone with her father for the holiday break until January 5th. Yesterday, I called her father's phone, answered by his ever sweet girlfriend, who informed me that Haley had gone out to lunch with sperm donor's mother. She was supposed to call me back within an hour. That hour came and passed with no call. I called back later in the day, sure that it had just been an oversight and no big deal. Well, then there was no answer. So, I left a message. Yet, still there has been no call back. This leaves me worried, to say the least. I have the uncanny feeling that my daughter is miserable. She wants to come home and they don't want her to talk to me yet because they know that she will tell me exactly what is going on. Those fuckers. However, I could be incredibly wrong in my thinking. Somehow, my momma gut is kicking in and telling me otherwise. I think I'm right in my thinking, and will continue to think I'm right until I hear Haley tell me that she's having fun there. There is a nag that won't let me sleep. Then, my mind wanders to what shit I'm going to have to go through with the court system to resolve this problem. What great flaming hoops they'll have me jump through and in which ridiculous costume? Please imagine my fat ass in one of those tight little unitards asscheeks but half clad in sequins and the rest hanging out for the world to count the ass dimples. Don't forget in this vision to include the barely there breasts smashed flat in the overly tight attire and the rolls of back fat that undoubtedly will be impossible to conceal in that shiny little number. Oh, oh, and then there are the thighs, and you know I only shave to just above the knee....so use you're imagination. Bikini line...oh lord, the bikini line....like I have an afro wig shoved into the crotch of that leotard....

Back to the story now that you have a full picture of what the court makes you do to get anything done....

Now, I'm just pissed off. I'm all in a rage and I swear on all that is Holy....if my phone doesn't ring today I am going to beat the living shit out of SOMEONE. Then, just for kicks, I'll call sperm donor's mother and give her a piece of my mind too. She's oh so fun, barrel of laughs kinda fun, to scream at. Besides, she takes all my threats seriously and actually calls him and his girlfriend and let's them have it. And if that really doesn't work....sperm donor's grandmother will be next on the list because she loves me dearly to this day, and she's one tough old bitch who will never let anyone hear the end of it if I call her bitching. And last, but not least, then I'll put on my sparkly outfit, jump through flaming hoops, and really get him in a whole shit storm of paper work and court dates. This mother is NOT to be fucked with especially when I have PMS!!

How's that for being a "fucking cunt," Jeremy?

By the way....on the phone the other day he thought himself terribly witty by calling me a "fucking cunt," repeatedly. I mean, does he think he's the first person to call me that? God, no. He can't really be that stupid. Can he? I mean, I am a fucking cunt, but I don't think that's a news flash to anyone and certainly not to me! He's so brilliant....I mean, brilliantly ignorant that it's entertaining. I hope he sees padded walls and men in white coats just once in his life....and if there is a God, I will be there to watch them drag him off.