Nov 29, 2007

Positive Thoughts

It seems I'm a bad blogger. Hmph. Well, it's only the truth, I suppose. I forget about it for days and days on end. I don't dream about blogging or even really think about it all that much. I don't plan out my posts. Hell, I don't even use correct punctuation in most cases. It's fun to annoy people with punctuation!?!?! Yes, it is, it really really is!! Try it sometime. I promise. Big fun.

Anywho...I started my period today. The cramps aren't too bad yet though. Thank God! I don't think I could take cramps with my clomid not having arrived yet. Which has been the focus of my obsession as of the last couple weeks. That shit still ain't here and I'm beginning to get impatient. I understand they say that it will take 12-18 workdays to arrive, but this is ME we're delivering to, that's gotta mean you'll get it here in like 4 days, right? So, all in all, my perception that the entire world revolves around me came crashing down. My clomid hasn't arrived. Hopefully, in the next couple of days so that this cycle won't be a complete waste. It might actually be a stress-free cycle since Haley will be gone for the last week. Well, atleast the last couple days. Then, I could obsess without having to feed, clothe, and bathe her. All of my obsessiveness could be focused properly on blowing secen thousand dollars on home pregnancy tests. No, not really. It's fun to think about though. Back to my original thought for a clomid has a couple days to get here before the cycle is scrapped. I need to start taking it by day 5. I can tell you though, it just really irks me that the ONE month that I am hoping my period come late, which isn't that uncommon for me, and here she is RIGHT ON TIME. Stupid mother nature. Yes, that's me pouting.

I do have some other things that I need to do....I need to get a basal body thermometer. My old one has been lost or misplaced and it was old anyways. A new one will be good. I am only temping because I'll be taking the clomid without monitoring. Frankly, I just don't want to end up pregnant and then have a period and take the clomid again. That would probably not be good. Temping atleast should help me to avoid that, if it were to come up. I don't know if clomid is going to be the answer for us or not. I can tell you though, I am sure hoping this shit works! If it doesn't, it will a very long time before I am able to go back to the doctor for an IUI or anything of the sort. Besides, IUI cycles can cost an arm and a leg. Up to four thousand dollars a cycle, since if I did IUI we would do it with injectables. Sigh. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that because if it does, I'm not sure that we will ever have another child. I don't know that we want to spend that kind of cash on ONE procedure without ANY guarantees that it will work, and even if it does, pregnancy is no guarantee that you will bring home a baby in 9 months. Either way, let's try to stay positive about all this.

My clomid WILL arrive in the next couple days.
The clomid WILL work, and I will have a healthy, happy pregnancy.
Positive. Positive. Positive!!!!


Miss Organization said...

I'm a bad girl too....I totally got busy and forgot about it...oh well!! Whatcha gonna do?

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