Jan 3, 2008

Mission Day 3: Operation Clomid

We have now officially made our way half way through this sweaty rainforest of hot flashes and I see the light!!! Two more days and this operation will be over, but that won't complete the mission. The rest of the mission is as follows:

CD 7- Complete Operation Clomid
CD 8- Begin our track due South while waiting on Mission Ovulation to begin. We will know that we are close to achieving our objective by testing the waters for deadly LH surges in the water ways leading out of the area.
CD 13-15 - estimated time of arrival at the rendezvous point to complete Operation Ovulation.
Immediately following the completion of Operation Ovulation- commence on Operation Two Week Wait.
CD 24- Operation two week wait will be very slowly trudging on. The men will be nearly insane with hot flashes and hormones. Some men will even be urging me, as captain, to test the outward water ways, to detect the illustrious hCg hormone so common in the area, to see how close we are to the city of Baby Growing in the region of Uterine Lining. However, it will be atleast another 4 days before we are close enough to begin our testing.
CD 28- Begin testing to see how close we are to Baby Growing in Uterine Lining. If negative, keep on the suggested course and test again tomorrow. If test results at any time in the next few days are positive, set course to Freak Out Point and call in your coordinates to the OB/GYN squad.
CD 29- Test again to see how close we are to Baby Growing. If negative test results, keep on the suggested course and test again tomorrow. If positive, see CD 28.
CD 30-Test again to see how lcose we are to Baby Growing. If negative test results, keep on the suggested course and test again tomorrow. If positive, see CD 28.
CD 31-Test again to see how close we are to Baby Growing. If negative test results, keep on the suggested course hoping for a hail mary to save the troop, but expecting Aunt Flow to swoop in and pick off the troop members one by one. If positive, see CD 28.
CD 32- Aunt Flow is due to storm the area and by this time the troop will most likely have already had some sightings of her little dog, Spot. The troop may die a slow death if they even make it this far. God save us all!!!

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